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A Paradise Of Expressions..

Where strangers are family.

30 July, 2018

Found another one of my articles that I had written on my laptop a while ago. The title is once again the day I probablly finished it; it just needed a few tweaks here and there.  I really ought to comb through my laptop  more frequently, but at least i found it. Heh, it really helps to have complete pieces lying around while I'm racking my brains for the next piece.     

The View from My Window.

These days, I enjoy solitude. Miles away from my family, I now humbly dwell in the bleak, quite well-maintained, but sometimes-smelly establishment provided by my university. The creatures that live here besides me, though interesting at first, have now begun to bore me. To some extent, life is monotonous here. It’s ‘Eat, sleep, drink alcohol/Smoke something/ play either Fornite or PUBG or CSGO or COD/go crazy on social media, repeat.’ And since I try to keep constant vigilance against the penultimate phrase of this MUCH followed and respected vision of these creatures, I usually end up alone. It’s not that I don’t cherish these moments of free thinking, and self-inspection. But I miss the days where I am surrounded by people with passion, madness, and inspiration. I miss the light of glee gleaming from those having an affinity with the arts; of music and literature.

I have always tried to fill this hole that I face living in these quaint dwellings. This year, I live on the 18th floor. It has been almost 2 weeks now. One of my favourite ways to pass time is partly done by my balcony.

 It is harder to wake up in the mornings now. In the 2 weeks I’ve spent in this new room, the first eight were me getting up from a hot, humid dream into a hot, humid morning. The ACs weren’t working, so I would attend my lectures perspiring a little, and then return perspiring a LOT. At that time, I could easily wake up early (I suspect because of the sweat.). It is a different story now. It has started raining quite heavily after midnight, so I give in to a warm night, grateful for the AC, and get up cursing it as I wake up to a somewhat chilly morning, HIGHLY accentuated by the AC. It is with grave reluctance I venture out of my blanket into the cold world around me, while my room-mate (curse him!) sleeps contentedly; his classes usually being later in the day. Even before summoning the will to embark I have taken mortal damage; my nose is already runny.

Yes, being in college isn’t quite the dream as many people think it is. But the view is interesting enough for me to leave my comfort aside.

Looking from my bed I see my maroon-ish curtain billowing with the wind. Hints of blue and grey appear and disappear from time to time as the curtain sways slowly. Already a little happy, I get up and proceed towards the source.

 The air seems like the exhaled breath of a giant angel; cool, refreshing and welcoming. Light falls lightly (heh) on everything around me. At this height, one can see the hawks more closely, and if you’re lucky, one may be flying right below you. Small clouds are just at eye level in this season. However, the seemingly- heavenly view also comes with a giant patch of reality. To my right, there are rows of sombre-looking apartment buildings and societies, market complexes, small underpasses and the occasional mall. With a massive main road and small interlinking roads to complement this concrete jungle, the mornings often have traffic starting as early as 7- 7:30 in the mornings due to the rain, with horns so loud they can be clearly and distinctly heard up here. A relatively thin strip of sand and dust nonetheless effectively guards the road from fresh air from both sides. I can only imagine and pity the pedestrians and those on two-wheelers for the trials they face every day in the mornings. There is even another university right in front of me, in the shape of a big hollow hexagon, with a huge, open field. Offices buildings, factories and industries take up the rest of the space, so not so heavenly after all. Only the light light is their saving grace.  But I am proud to say that only a few of these erections around me surpass that of my university.      

 But at night, the view changes entirely; many times the complete opposite of what it looks in the day. All office and residential buildings become halos of artificial lights; far more interesting and elegant than what they look in the day. The other university doesn’t have any lodging or living arrangements, so at night it is just a vast open area of blackness and desolation. There is a haunting look about it. The highway is the most illuminated of all. Along with the long line of streetlamps there are streaks of yellow everywhere on the concrete. The headlights of hundreds of cars and bikes and trucks all shine like small suns; it’s actually a little difficult to look at them directly. The headlights stand tall, dominating the highway; only occasionally is the red taillight able to overpower them. Stronger is the smoke and dust rising around them. Even the 18th floor isn’t high enough to pierce through the smoke and have a good look at the stars.

Watching all these screaming vehicles at night (there tends to be considerably more traffic at night.), I like to conjure up stories of the people inside them. What are they thinking, sitting peacefully inside a comfortable car? Or IS the car comfortable? How many of the cars are giving their owners a trying time? Is every groan of the engine a signal to a worried driver that his transportation is failing? Or are parts of the car, like the AC or the radio, already damaged?  Or is it the DRIVER that is not at peace? Is he trying to reach the hospital to his wife who’s in labour? Is he angry at someone? His boss? His wife? Or is he just a violent man? Is he late for a party? Maybe his own birthday party? Is he leaving for a solo trip? Being a writer, all of these thoughts come more easily to me, and with some good music and noise- cancelling headphones, I pleasingly pass away my time; maybe more happy now than the rest of my day (Engineering can be dull, so not much of a contest.). Thank God for headphones and music. Eden is my salvation at night, along with Sleeping at Last. They allow me to sink deeper into myself, ask myself questions and make observations that I wish and try to reflect and answer in my book.

“More people show their true colours at night”, is one of my most recurring and currently favourite thoughts as I gaze down at the earth. For many live lives they never wished for or don’t like, or is just a safety job. So when the day is over, ‘Time to end the farce.’ . Night is the time for the violent, the volatile, and the visionaries. It is the time for robbers and artists, kidnappers and dreamers, rapists and people with two working jobs, to end their less interesting lives and begin with the more impactful one once again.

People fear the dark, because they can’t see anything. What they cannot see they cannot understand. And what they cannot understand either scares them, or they take it to faith. Unfortunately, the dark presents with too many chilling encounters for us to take to faith.

-Me. I wrote that. * Self-five *

This is how I sustain myself for now. These are the thoughts currently swimming in my head. And these are the thoughts with which I go to sleep tonight, only to forget them, to make room for more.                                        

Photo I took on the last day I spent in this room.

New podcast episode: Emma at last

gendermom

Emma-and-M M. and Emma!

I want you to meet my good friend, Emma. When she was a little girl, she was just like my daughter. But no one knew her for 60 years. I’m so glad she’s here now.

You can hear Emma’s story (and the story of her friendship with me and my daughter) in the latest episode of “How to Be a Girl.”

I actually recorded this interview with Emma many, many months ago. As I’ve shared already, it’s been a challenging year, and that’s made it difficult to do much work on the podcast. But I’m hanging in there, learning a lot about myself, and I think I’m becoming both tougher and kinder (to myself and others), which feels like a good direction. Thanks for your patience with me (especially Emma! And my tirelessly supportive editor, Whitney!).

You may notice that my daughter was still in…

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Library Owner

Poetry and Prose

Hidden in the corner,
Like a quiet foreigner,
I lived day in-day out,
Witnessing all about.
Millions killed,
Bruised and burned,
Took me to places of no return.
Some robbed and murdered,
Some fought and cheated,
Broke my heart when love was defeated.
Oh! The kiss, His sweetest kiss.
Made my heart blushed as I smiled.
Saw several loved and died,
Sometimes I quietly cried.
From dusk to dawn,
Pages after pages,
I just read on.

For every book lover

Copyright: Word Hunter

P.C Pexels

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A Good Problem To Have.

You know, I’m currently working on three different writing pieces: one is a piece for what is going to be my first entry ever in a writing contest(that is, excluding the ones which happened in schools and three kids from each grade got certificates for first,second and third place.), one piece is going to be the start of a short story which I’ll keep posting here, and afterwards on both Medium and Wattpad. I currently have more than enough material to work on the first part of the story, but I’ve put it on hold because this writing contest has a deadline of August 12. I know it’s far away, but this is my first time, and I’m excited and want my piece to be really good. I still haven’t finished the first draft of it yet, and I want to finish it at most by tomorrow afternoon.The last one is the book I want to self publish. There is a SHIT load of research left to do, and the first draft is only reached, like 2 chapters. Because I want my characters to sound authentic, I’m researching into their professions and stuff like that. The roadblock right now is that one of the professions of a character is a clinical pychologist(I didn’t even know there were any other kind of psychologists apart from the clinical ones.), and this character has a lot of importance, and never having been to a psychologist or having met one, it is a huge grey area for me. Somehow I make progress somedays, but even THAT had to be put on hold, again because of the first writing piece mentioned. I know its stupid, but I’m NERVOUS okay?! It’s a US-based contest and they charge an entry fee, and I’m not from the US ,UK, or the EU, so it’s a considerable amount of money for something that may not even give me the result I hope for. That’s why I’m really trying to make sure that my piece is really good.

You’re thinking why then I said it’s (insert title here). Because I’m working on something I love. That’s a huge change for me. I still procrastinate a lot. I basically did nothing today except for writing this post. But I’m starting to turn around now. I’ll keep focusing on my work. Sure, I have bad days like today, but at least now my bad days are not like a state of perpetuity. I’m happy that I have work that I want to do because it gives my happiness. I love the feeling of words pouring out that sound right. But it’s important to do right by your other priorities too. So I’m trying to not let it get in the way of my computer programming, but I’ve mostly failed so far. But at least I’m trying, right? There’s a whole journey left before I can call myself considerably productive, but at least now I’m motivated enough to keep moving forward. I am thankful for that.

Also, if anyone has any tips to help me focus more on my work and procrastinate less, I’m all ears!

Love,

a stranger.

8 July, 2017.

I found a poem of mine today with this date written at the top right corner of the page. I had actually written it for a WordPress challenge by one of the websites I used to follow. I’m changing it a little and posting it here, because the original does not seem that good to me right now. Hope you enjoy it 🙂 !

Amidst the sounds of normalcy,

There is a voice

Vibrant and complete

With madness and screams

And discipline and dreams

Of freedom and joy

And delights and tears.

Walk towards that voice, my darling

For it is the sound of life.

Hello!

It has been so long since I last came here, I feel like a newbie.

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Continue reading “Hello!”

Slipped

Lines no longer fall like they used to

Has the river been poisoned?

The heart doesn’t move like it used to

Has it forgotten its love for love ?

 

 

 

On Death Threats and the Life I Lead…

Pernille Ripp

Note:  There is offensive language in this post, not from me, but I wanted to warn you before you read it.

I was cooking dinner today when my phone went off.  Three new emails waited for me.  In between cooking dinner, catching up with my husband, and watching the kids have a water fight, I checked my email because I was waiting for an important one.

Two were comments on my blog, nothing unusual in that until I read them.  The first one said

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The next one said

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I showed my husband, Brandon, and tried to shrug it off.  After all, these aren’t the first vile comments I have received and they probably won’t be the last but he stopped me.  “What do you mean you have gotten comments like this before?  You haven’t told me that?!”

I guess in this day and age you just get used to it. …

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Do You Truly Care about Your Readers?

The Art of Blogging

Or is it really all about you?

If there’s one thing that I keep saying over and over again, it’s that the key to effective blogging is a relentless focus on the needs of the people you are trying to reach.

But the truth is that there are two prime examples of ways in which many are not getting it. The funny thing about these two things is that they are both aspects of what makes the Internet truly unique as a marketing platform, and yet we often fail to take advantage of them.

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